mood

exhausted

How am I?

How I am is okay. How I am is Way Behind On Everything. How I am is SOTIRED.

Many, many emails are in my inbox waiting to be answered. The rest of several travel diaries I intended to write are waiting to be written. My Sketchbook Project sketchbook is not as many pages as I wish it had been, but it does feel like a complete work at least, and is at home, waiting for me to bind it on Monday after work so I can mail it because it has to be postmarked Tuesday. Monday will be the soonest I can do it because I leave right after work today to go down for Conflikt, for which if I'm lucky I will have some time today to listen to songs I promised to add some harmony to. (Slight reprieve: boss called in sick today, so we're not doing payroll today, so I can listen to music and noodle-sing while I work.) Oh right, and Monday is the all-hands staff lunch meeting, and payroll is after that.

Also I've been sick as the proverbial dog this week. Also I've been having scary chest pains/tightness but I went to the doctor and she said it's definitely not my heart, and here have a blood test for ulcer antibodies, and take maalox/mylanta. (Oog. But at least it's not my heart. Heart attacks/angina in women can present vastly differently from those in men, so I was worried for a while.)

Oh right, and last week I spent most of the week working from home because of the snow, which was sorta cheating since I live in walking distance from work and *could* have gone in, but the bosses said I could stay home so I did. Which left me behind on things at work, which is why I am not writing all these travel diary posts and answering all these personal emails while I'm at work.

(I did complete my list of books read in 2011. I can't remember whether postdated posts show up in friends' lists once the postdated date rolls around. So, there it is.)

Anyway, I may spend most of Conflikt sleeping when not performing, just so I'll have the energy to do the performing part. I plan to spend at least some of it in shenanigans with Brooke and Seanan, even if shenanigans involve zoning out to whatever shows Seanan can't bear to miss. But I'll be there!

Originally posted at http://vixy.dreamwidth.org/770198.html.

mood

pleased

Seattle and the Demons of Ambition: From Boom to Bust in the Number One City of the Future, by Fred Moody

This is the final book I read in 2011 (see my bookpost for 2011), but I liked it so much I'm giving it its own review post.

I think I heard about this book on NPR, put it on my Amazon wishlist and forgot about it. Then Ryan got it for me for Christmas, and I spent a couple of plane trips in December reading it.

And *wow*. Just wow. This author articulates so much about Seattle that I'd never found words for. Some things that I'd always felt, and also some things that had never occurred to me, but which resonated with me instantly, and some things I sorta realized about myself.

It doesn't seem like it sets out to be that kind of book. It's partly a history of Seattle itself, from its founding by optimistic but clueless pioneers through its repeated waves of booms and busts. It's partly an autobiography of the author, and his relationship with Seattle and with the rest of the country's perception of it. And it's partly a history of a few particular local industries, most prominently the press, music, and technology industries. And partly just random things the author loves. There's a whole (if short) chapter on the quality of the light. ( Here's a quote I particularly liked, cut for your friendslist. )

The book is brilliant, and moving, and it lauds some of the things I've always absolutely loved about Seattle, and doesn't at all shy away from the things that are wrong with it. It's not fiction, but it's tied together in part with a cast of characters you'd almost think had to be made up. Sometimes it goes off on tangents, and at least once I almost wanted to deck the author for spending a little *too* much time in his own head. But I love this book so much I wanted to start rereading it again almost immediately. (Oh for infinite time.)

Also, something funny happened while I was reading it. I was almost all the way through it when a friend from the Bay Area came to visit. We had dinner at a restaurant so typically Seattle it made me giggle-- it had boasted upscale menus and prices to match and a website that implied fancy atmosphere. We'd arrived there in the industrial-ish Ballard neighborhood to find exposed beams and ducts, rough brick walls, half the patrons in jeans, and my dinner companion definitely overdressed. (Oh Seattle, never change.) Then after a wander through Pike Place Market, my friend remarked that it was nice to spend time in a city that seemed so comfortable just being itself.

And that's it, really. Those couple of moments captured the book for me. Seattle is and always has been a place that did best when it was content to be its happless, laid-back self, and whenever it's tried to put on airs and act like all the cities that people have fled in order to come here, the attempt has always kind of backfired. Like quoting an opinion that was really someone else's and then getting asked to discuss it. We've always done better when we weren't succumbing to the demons of ambition.

I feel like if you want to understand me, and understand my city, you should read this book.

Originally posted at http://vixy.dreamwidth.org/770032.html.

mood

tired

Monday
We were all sort of tired on Monday, so we did Epcot, which is relatively low key. Unfortunately it is also relatively BORING. Several of my friends had been all "oh you're going to Disney World? You just HAVE to do Epcot!" I now have to wonder whether these were people who secretly don't like me very much.

I admit it was partly chance; the couple of things that sounded actually interesting were the things whose Fast Passes were all gone before we got there, and even for Soarin' we weren't willing to stand in line for ninety minutes. So there was Maelstrom, filled with bored Norwegian employees and comically menacing trolls, there was the Nemo ride, filled with animatronic fish which might have been more impressive if we hadn't yet watched the Nemo stage show, there was a big aquarium which was filled witth real fish, and which was mildly interesting but which some of us had seen at dinner the night before. And there was the imagination thingy with Eric Idle and Figment, which was mostly fun for watching Amy be happy. And there was the wheel o' countries (about seven countries, not exactly your UN experience) which we didn't actually get all the way through before getting so tired of it that we preferred to ride the boat back and forth a few times between Germany and Mexico. I think it was Germany that had an interesting caramel store, and China had acrobats but no vegetable spring rolls, and Morocco and Italy were just kind of embarrassing. I don't remember Japan or France at all.

We rode Spaceship Earth, where it was nice at least to have Dame Judi Dench along, although I still wish I'd been faster and changed our language to French so I could get some practice. Seeing ourselves as decapitated robots in the future was amusing. Then we made our way through Canada, where Brooke's head only just barely avoided exploding (stick your head in a sacred dance mask for a silly photo! Ugh) and I think maybe France was there? Before getting to the UK for dinner. My salmon and trifle were delicious, but we think we got food poisoning from the potato leek soup, as Seanan and I were the only ones who had it and were also the only ones throwing up later that night. (Although now I'm hearing about outbreaks of a stomach bug all over the Midwest and east coast, so maybe it was a bug after all.)

Prior to that, though, we'd all decided we were too tired to stay for the fireworks show to which our meal had come with priority seating tickets. So we took the tickets and searched for a group of appropriate size to give the tickets away to. This proved harder than we imagined! But in the end we managed our good deed, and were hoping to get off to the hot tub.

Alas, that was not to be. We were almost to the gate when Rachel called to say Micki was having chest pains. Between Rachel and Guest Services, we managed to find out what was going on and which hospital she was being transported to. (Disney does NOT mess around when there is a medical issue involved.) Rae the Angel of Having a Car came and took some of us to the hospital, where we brought Rachel and Micki some stuff they needed and were assured that Micki was okay, they just wanted to keep her overnight for some tests.

By the time we got back to the resort, Seanan and I were too tired for the hot tub. Which was just as well, because of the aforementioned throwing up. :( My body at least had the courtesy to wait until Seanan was done with her stomach issues before mine began. Unfortunately mine also lasted longer, and continued on into the next day. (You'll be spared the details.)

Tuesday
So I pretty much spent this day alternately in bed and in the bathroom. Seanan stayed with me for half the day, and the girls stopped by with Pepto and ginger ale and crackers, but it was clear there wasn't a lot anyone could do for me, so after she'd rested up enough from her own ordeal, Seanan went out to join the others at...wherever they were.

Micki and Rachel came back from the hospital some time after 4pm, and I asked Micki if she felt like resting, and she was like "are you kidding? That's all I've DONE all day!" They took the fastest showers ever and headed out to have them some fun if it killed them! Heh.

At least I managed to get a lot of sleep.

Wednesday
Hollywood! Which turned out to be my favorite park. Amy and Brooke got up early to go ride Expedition Everest a few billion more times, so Seanan and Patty and I set out at a more civilized hour for Hollywood Studios. We didn't start out with the Tower of Terror because I wanted to ease into things after being sick. So we went to the Rock n' Roller Coaster, because that is Seanan's idea of easing into things. I loved it, but it was too short! But I met a very charming retired New York City cop working in the gift shop, who showed me all his tattoos after he noticed mine.

(Yes, Disney lets you work there if you have tattoos, though I think you have to keep them covered. Seanan told me this changed some years ago when a Holocaust survivor wanted to work there. Which, I think is awesome. You've been through that life and what you want to do with the rest of your life is work somewhere making people happy? Good luck and Godspeed!)

Anyway, I was also amused that the Rock n' Roller Coaster et environs was the one area in all the parks where the constantly-playing Christmas music was more like what I'd been wishing for everywhere else-- Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty, etc. (Although I could swear that Tom Petty's "Christmas All Over Again" was playing, like EVERY SINGLE TIME we walked over there. All over again. As it were. I think they had a short playlist.)

After that we went to the Tower of Terror, where we persuaded a reluctant Patty to ride the ride with us through the clever and sneaky ploy of... telling her she didn't have to ride the ride with us. (She had planned to just go through the line with us to experience all the entertaining plot stuff and then exit before getting on. All the rides let you do this, and the cast members give you absolutely NO crap about it. Seanan refers to it as the "chicken-out door" but although your friends might judge you, Disney never will.)

I'm honestly sort of fuzzy on this day, but I *think* this was when the Yeti Plot was conceived. Or it might have been the day before but just really got under way on this day. This was a plot to obtain a complete Hidden Mickey set of Yeti pins for Amy (along with pretty much every other Yeti pin we could find.) Hidden Mickey refers to a type of collectible pin that you can only obtain by trading with a cast member (as opposed to the many, many collectible pins you can buy in the stores and kiosks), denoted by a tiny gold Mickey head painted somewhere on the pin. Naturally, in order to trade for these, we needed to obtain some pins to trade *with*, so we started buying some blind boxes (boxes of two where you don't know what pins you'll get til you open them) and starter sets. Y'know, for Amy. Just to have something to trade.

Only when you go up to a cast member and ask to see their lanyard of pins, sometimes you see something that's SO CUTE and maybe it's related to your favorite Disney property or character EVER or maybe it's the most adorable crossover (my first starter set was chibi Disney characters dressed as characters from Pirates of the Caribbean) and you trade for it because you want to keep it for yourself and you think "oh it's just this *one*..." and then you find another one like that... And then maybe you discover the existence of a Hidden Mickey set that your girlfriend would absolutely *love* and you start hunting for that set too while you're at it and it's a set of seven so you need to get more starter pins to trade and maybe a lanyard to put them on because pinning them to your shirt every day and taking them off every night is starting to get a bit unwieldy...

And that's how Seanan got me hooked on Disney pin trading.

So yeah... while in the course of accosting cast members to look at their lanyards for Yeti (we were always polite and we never interrupted anyone who was helping a customer) I discovered these pretty black and white cameo-style pins of Pooh characters, a set of seven. So I started looking for those on people as well. Then I discovered the existence of two different Alice in Wonderland sets, one a sort of psychedelic-looking set from Disneyland, the other characters set in pocket watch borders. And to be honest, it turned out to be an *incredibly* fun game! Hunting down cast members to look at their lanyards and checking the pin books and pin boards at the hotels (and at Guest Relations once we learned about those), walking to all the stores we hadn't been yet and then returning to the same stores a few hours later when there would likely have been either some turnover in pins or a shift change, it was all like a big never ending scavenger hunt. Of course, when we went into the stores, I would tend to wander off and look at the clothes and stuff while Seanan went straight for the cast members, because all the shopping was as fun for me as the rest of it, but I usually caught up and she knew mostly what I was looking for.

Seanan and Micki and Rachel and I rushed back to the resort to have dinner early so that we could rush to the boat to Downtown Disney so that we could rush through Downtown Disney so that we could make it to La Nouba, the Cirque de Soleil show to which we had tickets. Running full tilt, the other three of us lost sight of Seanan, who was the one with the coupons to pick up the tickets, but we kept going 'cause I had a feeling she was doing that magic crowd thing. Sure enough, with us going as fast as we could, we got there to find Seanan already standing in line. Dude, I don't even know, she casts don't-look-heres or something.

La Nouba was BEAUTIFUL. I'm not sure I can even describe it. I'd never seen a Cirque show live before, only a short making-of video years ago. Before the show, two gents with relatively subtle clown make-up did a bit of shtick involving carrying around a platform of soft, brightly-colored boxes through the audience and onto the stage (this clown pair would end doing a little interstitial business between every act.) The show proper began with a series of characters parading slowly across a round walkway curving between the two tiers of the audience, dancing/juggling/posing their way from spotlight to spotlight. These wound up sort of introducing and guiding each of the main acts, and I found myself thinking of them in sort of Echo Bazaar style-- the Birdlike Clown, the Hunchbacked Strongman, the Four Pierrots, the Reserved Aerialist, etc.

But the really awesome thing was that, throughout each incredible act--aerialists dangling from cloths, little girls with spinners, acrobatics on bikes-- there was always SO MUCH GOING ON on the stage. Between each pass across the tightrope, or between each trapeze set, a pair of dancers leapt and twirled, some of the Characters would be watching from standing on the stage or perched on the set or dangling from the flies, the Hunchbacked Strongman would be trying to impress the Birdlike Clown but she would be unmoved, and large and small groups of dancers would walk in time around the stage, move subtly or stand still in poses. Everywhere you looked there was something going on, and you could hardly figure out where to look knowing you were always missing something! It was delightful. The Birdlike Clown assisted the Youthful Juggler while the Four Pierrots tried to imitate him.

Oh, and there was the Hopeful Charwoman, a comical cleaning lady who did some of the interstitial bits. Her business involved at first being perplexed by the circus performers, but gradually getting more and more into it (she was lifted into the air to her slight alarm during the aerialist act, and watched the juggler's act dreamily from the flies) culminated in her finding a (pantomimed) frog, kissing it, and turning into a fabulous princess with the Stoic Trumpeter from the opening scene as her prince.

It was just incredible. It was also the thing that got me to spend the most money I'd spent in the parks so far. I got the program book and DVD combination before the show and was glad I did, because I knew my descriptions to the other Agoranauts wouldn't do it justice, and afterward I got a calendar and a t-shirt.

I was *so* happy I go to go to that. It was my favorite part of the trip up til then, and one of my favorite parts of the entire trip overall.

And now I post this from GaFilk, where I will soon have a whole other diary to write! Aaaaa can't keep up! Also meant to post this last night, but I was in the Filk room and I can't connect to the wifi there.

Originally posted at http://vixy.dreamwidth.org/769784.html.

mood

content

We are at GaFilk and life is good!

We were collected by Rob and Alice in the late afternoon, were fed tasty food at the hotel restaurant (where we had an awesome table with a view of all the con arrivals wandering through the lobby, so we got many hugs across a low railing), and were settled into our room, which is lovely and contained wine and fruit and cookies. Also it adjoins the con's sort of spare suite/ops suite kind of thing, which last night provided a splendid hangout space for chatting with people and listening to Tony and Patrick play with Rob's new baritone acoustic. Then we got to spend the evening listening to Play It With Moxie rehearse, which was utter joy, and rehearsing the two songs I get to do with them, which is so much more utter joy that I may die of it. (But not until later.)

This morning we got up at a leisurely pace, had breakfast at Waffle House (I ordered grits! They were tasty. Thanks Alton Brown!) and are again lounging in the ops suite thing, where I am reading and posting and playing Pocket Frogs while Tony plays bits of 2112 on Rob's electric.

Later will be rehearsal for our concert; the concom has miraculously found us a djembe, because they are awesome.

Entertaining note: the hotel lunch menu says they have a mescaline salad. My twitter feed assures me they most likely mean mesclun. They did mention it was a brand new menu. I haven't decided whether to tell them yet.

Originally posted at http://vixy.dreamwidth.org/769528.html.

mood

resolved

So I'm only working two days this week (how did that even *happen*??) because tomorrow morning we are off to GaFilk, where we are GUESTS OF HONOR WOOHOO! This kind of snuck up on me.

And because it kind of snuck up on me, and because I'm only working two days this week, I made an effort to get a lot of work done yesterday, and decided not to open Twitter (or MOO or my browser session filled with interesting things to read).

And lo and behold, I got a lot of work done!

And that felt really good, actually.

I've been feeling guilty for how much time at work I spend on the internet, getting lost for hours in clicking and reading one interesting thing after another. I really do like the people I work for a *lot*, and I have been feeling like I'm not giving them my best. I think I've become addicted to the glorious infodump that is the internet-- I can't stand the idea of MISSING anything!

I think one of my genuine New Year's resolutions this year is going to be: no more Twitter while I'm working. Sounds like kind of a "duh", doesn't it? News flash: you get more work done when you don't poke at the internet for hours a day!

It's just that I have a very strange and limited kind of willpower; if Twitter's not open, I can refrain from opening it. But if it is open, I *can't* refrain from looking at it, and clicking interesting links, and scrolling back to read earlier posts, and following the thread of people's conversations, and and and. I tell myself I'll just leave it open and glance at it in between work tasks, but that never winds up being the case. There's always just one more thing, and just one more, and just one more... especially if there's something I'm avoiding that I don't want to do.

I was like this with Livejournal until I stopped having time to really follow my LJ friends list because... well, because of Twitter, really. And Google+ and Facebook and Google Reader and so forth. (I truly have no idea how all of you manage to keep up with one another on the various social media *and* read blogs *and* have full-time jobs.)

So, no more social media and internet surfing during work. Also no more opening the Giant Firefox Session of Doom (tm). Only on break times. Which means I'm going to be missing a lot of things. A lot more things than I already do. But I think I'm okay with that.

(A side note though-- do please be kind to anyone who didn't see something important on your blog/twitter/whatever. Your friends are not obligated to read your blog. It is not actually rude of them not to have time to scroll back over your entire Twitter feed, or to just not like using Facebook, or to not read what you write for *whatever* reason. Let's be nice to each other.)

And I've spent too much time writing this already. Onward! :)

Originally posted at http://vixy.dreamwidth.org/769205.html.

mood

happy

I'm back from Disney World! (Er, did I mention I was at Disney World from Christmas Eve to New Year's Day?) It's been absolutely AMAZING. Culminating in the BEST New Year's Eve ever. Oh man, if this didn't exorcise the beast that was 2011, nothing will.

I've got just a couple of days to draw breath before I'm off again to GaFilk, but want to get a diary of the trip down lest I forget too much. Caution: this will probably be long and boring to anyone who isn't me.

Where to start...

Saturday
Flew out Friday on a redeye, got to Orlando late morning Saturday. With the package Seanan got us, there was a special luggage tag which meant I didn't have to go to baggage claim, they would just deliver my suitcase to my hotel room, and a special ticket to get on the Disney Magical Express to our resort. Say what you will about Disney, but damn they know how to do hassle-free travel.

Met Seanan, Micki and Rachel in the Magic Kingdom for lunch at Tony's (the pasta was terrible, even by the standards of someone who eats boxed mac n cheese a lot and LIKES it, but the tiramisu was good and had a Lady and the Tramp stamp in cocoa powder), then lost Micki and Rachel to the gods of smoking but found Amy, Brooke and Patty as compensation.

"Hi Brooke! How are you?" "I'm at frickin' DISNEY WORLD!"

(while I'm sitting on a wall in front of a hedge) "Oh look at all the little birds! I keep expecting them to braid Vixy's hair." (This became a theme. I'm not sure why it's always *me* who gets nominated for the Woodland Creature Beauty Salon. I guess it's the crows?)

I think that day we did the Haunted Mansion and the Teacup ride (centrifugal force=SCIENCE! We yelled "SCIENCE!" all together on the count of three, and as we exited the ride, we heard a girl we didn't know yell "SCIENCE!" as well! Ah, corrupting the youth) and some other wanderings together, and then split up so Amy and Brooke and Patty could ride the nap ride while Seanan and I had an inadvertently boat-filled afternoon (Small World, Pirates, and Jungle Cruise) and met Micki and Rachel for dinner and promptly lost them again (this was a theme). Then got caught up in a small crowd of people trying to go the opposite way through a HUGE crowd of people trying to gather for the Electrical Parade. A woman started singing a Christmas carol in the crowd, because we were pretty much unmoving and what else are you going to do, and then she looked truly surprised when Seanan and I joined in with two-part harmony. Like, woman, you're at DISNEY. How do you NOT expect a sing-along? Anyway, then we all met up for Space Mountain (SPAAAAAACE) and general nighttime meanderings.

I enjoyed the Magic Kingdom, but a whole lot of it is a duplicate of Disneyland, to which I lived near enough through most of the 90s that I went there a lot. I'm sure it's changed some, and some of the old familiar things were a *little* different (Space Mountain was somewhat more violent than I remembered) but I was more eager to sample things I'd never done at all.

This would also have been the evening of ALL THE ICE CREAM. Seanan ordered a bunch from Jeni's in Ohio, because they're the best ice cream in the world and they deliver. Something like fifteen pints, packed in dry ice. The hotel staff were quite curious when they delivered it to the room, although they told her it wasn't the weirdest thing they'd ever had delivered; that honor goes to the herpetologist who (we were told) had a whole lot of raw chicken delivered every day so he could go out and study the alligators while his wife hung out at Disney. (Er, some time in the past. Not while we were there.)

Anyway, delicious ice cream was eaten, and everyone agreed that Influenza Ice Cream, while it sounded like a good idea at the time, was in fact terrible. Also Christmas presents were given! I gave Seanan a velociraptor hoodie. Amy gave Brooke and Seanan bright orange and green (respectively) leather coin purses which hang from belts and are spiky like dinosaurs, and she gave me a book called Beautiful Oops, which is about turning art mistakes into beautiful art but which applies to life in a way I sorely needed to hear about right then.

Sunday
Animal Kingdom!
We hooked up with Angelica, who is just finishing up an internship program. We rode Expedition Everest I think three times? That is to say *I* did. I think Amy's ultimate total was 33 by the end of the week. Also in the program were Dinosaur (twice I think), on which Angelica declared she likes to go on rides with me because I alternately scream and giggle, the spinny twisty jerky mini dinosaur coaster whose name I forget (oh right-Primeval Whirl), the flying stegosaurus ride (or triceratops? WHATEVER it was FLYING SPINNING DINOSAURS), various interesting animals in pens (we watched vultures building a nest veeeeeeery slowwwwwwwwly), and the Tree of Life which is SUPER COOL and of which I took many photos. Also a full round of the alphabet game over lunch. I'm going to Disney World and I'm bringing ... You know I can't remember "a" anymore, but I remember Gregorian monks chanting Godwin's Law, Hitler's hipster hookers, and a serious suck-up. So you can imagine how the rest of the game went.

Oh, and the Finding Nemo stage show. Which was far and away the best of all the stage shows we saw this trip. Disney World is full of thirty minute stage shows, a couple in each park, basically Disney movies distilled down short and performed live, but the Nemo one was the only one we saw that really felt like a complete story, not a few musical numbers tied loosely together. Maybe it was because iirc Nemo was not originally a musical movie, so the music for the stage show all had to be actually conceived of and written from scratch, and thus was written to fit as a complete narrative. Anyway for whatever reason, the show was absolutely delightful in its own right, and not just as a nod to the movie; I'd really love to see it made into a full length musical and I'd totally go see it. It was done with puppets, but with the puppeteers in costume as well, and singing and acting themselves. The blend of puppet movement and puppeteer movement was well done, seamless and in a way that made sense and was fun to watch. (For the big turtle, the voice actor stood on the back of the shell, which was basically a vehicle, while several puppeteers operated it.)

It was just delightful and fun, and visually beautiful in much the same way as the Lion King Broadway musical. And they made a lot of fun use of the ramps and tiers in the audience, too, so there was always a lot to look around at.

Eventually Seanan and I went back to the resort to ride the Hot Tub ride. Best ride ever! (There was a lot we didn't get around to at Animal Kingdom, and later lost a day to illness... one of many reasons i'd like to go back!) And then went back out for dinner inside an aquarium at Epcot. That ended the evening for us because Epcot closed while we were at dinner and we could have gone to another park but hello TIRED.

This is where I'll mention how awesome Disney is about food issues. At all the sit-down places, if you mention a food issue when you make the reservation, which Seanan did, your reservation ticket comes with ALLERGY in red all caps printed on it, and this triggers the "chef must come to the table to talk to you" button. Seriously, one time we said "no really, we've eaten here before and we know what we can get" and the waitress was like "he *has* to come out." This was kind of awesome. At the "colonial" dinner place in the Magic Kingdom on Saturday, where it's basically family style turkey dinner with sides, the chef came out, asked about what I would and wouldn't eat, listed for me which sides were safe for me, and offered me my own entree of a veggie burger with sweet potato fries in addition.

(This would later come back to bite me, alas, when I got a bit blasé about it at one of the quick-serve places, where they would have been happy to tell me things if I'd *asked*, but where since it's a fast food counter they aren't thinking about it if you aren't.)

With that I think I'll post, or else I fear I never will. Stay tuned for the next installment!

Originally posted at http://vixy.dreamwidth.org/768938.html.

mood

ella ella ay ay ay

So although it was absolutely golden and gorgeous yesterday, it's been raining a whole lot lately.

Some of my friends, mostly the Californians, are often at pains to send me that one Oatmeal comic. Some of them send it to me repeatedly, every so often, I think just to hear me growl. I tend to have two reactions to this (and to people bitching about the rain in general), one of which is "look, that's actually not true" and other of which is less coherent but is usually along the lines of "Jesus Christ, if rain makes you actually wish for death, then why the fuck do you live here? GO LIVE SOMEWHERE ELSE or SHUT UP ALREADY."

*sigh*

Then I remind myself there are lots of reasons why people can't move out of the city where they live even if they want to. Finances, school, family, spouses, job, lack of job, being under eighteen and forced to live wherever your parents want to (which was how I found myself in southern California for a few years), etc. So instead, to stop growling and add something a little more pleasant to the world, I decided to list for you the reasons why I love the rain!

(Don't get me wrong. I love the sunshine too. Ask my close friends; I'm definitely a solar-powered vixy. How do I manage to be a solar-powered vixy while living in Seattle, you may ask? Because it doesn't actually rain as goddamned often as that. But I digress!)

Why I love the rain! by Vixy, age 40.

* The scent. Oh my heaven, the scent. Or rather, the variety of scents. The baked dusty smell of summer rain falling on really hot pavement. The green mysterious smell of spring rain falling hard. The washed-clean early-morning smell when it's just stopped raining and everything's still wet. The wet wood and gasoline smell when it rains down by the lake on the docks. Wet pine needles. Wet spring flowers. Even the mud, sometimes. (And its cousin, the smell of snow on the air when it's wet out and really cold. I don't know how else to describe it when it's not snowing but the air smells like snow, but once you've smelled it you always know it.)

* Watching it fall. Just watching it against the evergreens. When I was little I could spend just hours curled up in the big green rocking armchair, watching the rain. It's beautiful and quiet and contemplative.

* The sounds! Oh there's nothing like the sound of heavy rain against windows. Especially when it's windy. I've always found that thrilling. But even when it's a calm rain, it's soothing and delicious. Hearing that sound is perfect when curled up with a book or working on an art project or staying up late when everyone else in the house is asleep. Or that particuar whoosshhhh of cars driving by on wet pavement. And oh, there's nothing like making love to the sound of heavy rain.

* Summer rain, when it's warm enough to have the sliding back doors open (when I had such a thing). The sound and the sight of it falling combine and it's like you have your own private room that's outside, like a sunroom with walls of water and light instead of glass, with the sound going "hushhhh."

* Umbrellas! I love umbrellas. I have many, of different pretty colors and fancy prints, and I want more. I love walking in the rain with umbrellas. I'll open my umbrella at the least excuse, even when it's not really raining hard enough to bother, just because I think they're neat. It's kind of that same feeling as with summer rain; it's like my own little portable private room. And again there's a particular sound that goes with it; it's like walking around inside a secret.

* The peace of it. Now, I love sunny days, but they always feel to me like I should be out! doing! exciting! things! Can't waste a beautiful sunny day! For the most part I hate going to movies during the day, or watching movies or TV during the day, because I hate wasting daylight. But not if it's raining. If it's raining out, then curling up on the couch watching old movies feels justified. Rain makes staying in feel just right.

* Playing in it! Staying indoors is all very well, but playing in the rain is FUN! If you never knew the joy of splashing around in puddles or damming up curbside gutters as a kid, then you have my pity.

* Walking in it. Look, I don't care how cheesy the love songs are. Walking hand in hand with someone in the rain, running for a bus or kissing in a half-sheltered doorway... hey, sometimes things are tropes for a reason.

* Feeling it on my face. There's just a certain kind of chill... and there's something about laughing at it, in a defying-the-gods kind of way. If you're ever caught in the rain, try it sometime. Instead of hunching over and hiding your head, try turning your face upwards, feeling it falling in your ace, and laughing. Just trust me.

* The way everything shines. Again, some things appear in songs with good reason.

* Seeing it from far away. When it's not raining where you are and you can see far enough to see a rainstorm in the distance, looking like someone took their paintbrush and smeared the clouds downwards... that's just one of the most gorgeous things I've ever seen.

* Sun against rain. Also one of the most gorgeous things I've ever seen. Where I live, sometimes we get bright golden sunshine against a backdrop of deep charcoal-grey come-to-Mordor clouds. It is the coolest-looking thing ever. Even better than that, sometimes we get bright golden sunshine while it's raining hard. Usually when sunset is sneaking sideways under the cloud layer. Every drop lights up and it's like the sky's on fire.

* The way it makes everything green green GREEN! I've lived where most everything was dusty brown with a touch of green, when it wasn't on fire. I prefer to live where most everything is green and growing. Years ago an old friend put it best; this place *just* *says* *life*.

...heh. Appropriately, that's thirteen things. :D (Though some of those things are actually a whole bunch of things listed together.) And I'm sure there's more. But I've spent the last couple of days pondering what to include, and these are the things I've been daydreaming about mostly while falling asleep.

I'd love for everyone to love my city as much as I do. But if you can't, I hope you find a city that you love as much as I love mine.

See you around. :)

Originally posted at http://vixy.dreamwidth.org/768596.html.

mood

awake

I'm a big believer in supporting local small businesses, artists, etc. over big corporate chains whenever I can. (I acknowledge that it's not always possible. There are, sadly, no absolutes in life.) I feel more strongly about this than ever on Black Friday, when people are pepper-spraying each other to get the latest cheap thing at Wal-Mart.

So I thought I'd pass along some Black Friday recommendations for artists and businesses near and dear to me. :)

* Bead Muse on Etsy makes some seriously gorgeous jewelry, and I'm not just saying that because she's my sister-in-law. :) You've probably seen me wearing some of her stuff if you've seen me on stage or at a con recently. Not only is her jewelry beautiful and well-made, she's having a great big Black Friday sale today! (See the message at the top of her page.)

It would especially mean a lot to us if you'd give her shop a look-- and maybe a favorite-- as apparently Etsy has changed their search policies so that you now have to pay for a "search ad" to be at the top of the search results. My sister-in-law and a lot of other sellers she knows suddenly found their sales go from fairly steady to dropping completely off as the search results were suddenly skewed in favor of those who paid $10 a week or more. Ugh. We're hoping Etsy'll change their minds if enough sellers complain, but in the meantime I'm signal-boosting her store and I'd love it if you would too.

* Local artist Winneganfake is running the Bizarre Holiday Bazaar!

Artists/artisans/makers: add a comment and pimp your stuff!
Buyers of cool unique stuff from artists/artisans/makers: go ye forth and check it out!

I also want to give a signal boost to some of my favorite Seattle businesses:

* Vixy & Tony's beloved musical home, Wayward Coffeehouse, is flyin' again at the corner of 65th & Roosevelt! Delicious drinks, warm melty sandwiches, soup and quiche and more in a geek-friendly, art-filled haven. If you're out shopping, stop in to rest your tired feet.

* And although I don't get there nearly enough these days, my local comic book store, Dreamstrands, still has a place in my heart. Gabriel the owner is just awesome and sweet and can probably find you anything you're looking for. And I'm pretty sure it's Black Friday sale time over there, too. :)

* And of course Gary's Games & Hobbies, where we buy all our Dominion supplies. :)

* Torrey adds:

Etsy seller SteampunkArtyst is the woman who makes my amazing jewelry and clothing. She won't make you a skirt or coat like mine (being her daughter has its privileges) but she sells earrings and necklaces.

Shop the U Bookstore, Elliott Bay Books, or any other small bookstore instead of Amazon or B&N. (Vixy adds the Couth Buzzard on Greenwood to that list!)

GeekFest, of course, will have lots of nifty geeky vendors.

Our publishing company, Quiet Thunder, is having a Black Friday sale on Goblin Markets, both editions--soft cover B&W, and hard cover full color.

Ooh! I have a friend who makes Geeky-AWESOME soaps- with dice IN them, or SHAPED like 20-sided dice! >:)

See? Also sells dyed roving too! But the Dice Soap are AWESOME.

'll throw my hat in the ring as well: http:// www.etsy.com/shop/artbeco is my Etsy shop, with notebooks, portfolios, craft kits all made with colorful batiks, as well as jewelry and art prints and photos.
(from Vixy: adding this in the middle as I can't get my phone to scroll to the bottom.)

I would love the help of some spreading-of-the-word; I too have experienced the severe drop-off in sales since Etsy switched to the new search mechanism.

I'm Kendra of Silver Owl Creations. I make wire jewelry, particularly wire wrapped antique key pendants (from tiny and simple through large and elaborate), but also wire braided bracelets, swirly wire filigree earrings, woven wire archways, and assorted other sparkly items.

Etsy shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/silverowlcreations
Facebook (where I post when I list new items): http://www.facebook.com/SilverOwlCreations
Website: http://www.silverowlcreations.com

For your list: @gammaraygames @BedlamBedlam @cakespy @charmingcandy for more local love. High personal recommends from me!

For South Sounders:
Comics and games: Fantasium Comics and Games
Yarn: Unraveled Yarn & Artful Gifts

I've recently reactivated my etsy shop (http://www.etsy.com/shop/Nevenah) for my jewelry and (soon) origami ornaments, and I have my etched glass available online at http://nevenah.weebly.com/. I can do custom work if you don't see what you like, or if you want something similar to an item I've already sold. It's all done by hand, so no two pieces will ever be identical.

mood

working. no really.

Okay, I don't normally repost Twitter entries, but I just feel the need:

@jay_lake: "Horta Hears a Whom" - A lost Star Trek episode penned by Ted Geisel and E.B. White #tvthatneverwas #fb
@vixy: @jay_lake But why were the miners scared out of their socks? / Could it be that those round things were not merely rocks?
@vixy: @jay_lake "I must meld with its mind! With its mind I must meld! / Perhaps it will know why our men have been felled!"
@vixy: @jay_lake "Why you green-blooded fool!" said the Doctor to Spock. / "Why on Earth do you think you could talk to a rock?"
@vixy: @jay_lake Mister Spock gave his eyebrow a bit of a quirk. / "Not on *Earth*," he said mildly, and got down to work.
@vixy: @jay_lake ...I should probably stop now.
@seananmcguire: @vixy @jay_lake You are all WEIRDOS.

...no, I'm not gonna write the whole thing. I've got to get back to work now. :)

Originally posted at http://vixy.dreamwidth.org/767786.html.

mood

sad

My dad just emailed to let me know that a friend of the family passed away.

RIP Mark Hibbert, musician and owner of Whiskey Ridge Recording. He was the engineer who recorded and produced Shadowbeast. Sometimes we'd go to his gigs when I was a kid, and most recently he recorded the video of my mother's memorial service. In fact my dad had been planning to go over the recording with Mark when Dad got back from visiting relatives in California.

Edit: My dad says Mark was in his studio, where he was getting ready for a concert to introduce his band's latest CD. He had a heart attack and was gone almost instantly. He didn't suffer.

He was friends with my parents for ages, and he damn sure knew his stuff.

I feel like we're losing too many of the good ones lately.

Godspeed, Mark. You'll be missed.

Originally posted at http://vixy.dreamwidth.org/767639.html.

mood

amused

THE INTERNET: Where we assume the worst until proven wrong and then simply pretend we never said anything at all to begin with. --Adam P. Knave

mood

indecisive

*sigh*

So, as you know if you've been reading the comments, I've been waffling since that last post. I've been thinking about this, and listening to everyone's comments and input, and considering things from different angles. After the initial panic and anger reaction passed, I'm wondering whether I haven't been a bit stupid.

One of the things that has occurred to me is that I'm mixing two problems.

Problem one is Livejournal's crappy customer service. The solution to crappy customer service is voting with dollars-- not giving them my money. Beyond not giving them money, I doubt that anything else I do would affect the company, whether it's staying on with a free account, staying to read but not posting anymore, or leaving entirely.

Tangentially, I doubt even my not giving them money would affect them *much*, unless a lot of people do the same. But it's still one of the things you have power to do. I suppose it's also a question of what you think you're paying for, and what you expect to get in return. If you think you're paying for bare storage space on a server, that's different than if you think you're paying for a premium service. Although if you're paying for hosting on a server, you still ought to be able to expect things like the server being up consistently, and your data being as secure as the company says it is, and timely responses to server problems.

Problem two is the issue of trust/security. But that's going to be an issue anywhere, and the only difference is in degrees, and in how the company handles mistakes (because there will be mistakes anywhere).

That's the hard part. Right now it seems like the obvious answer is to stay with a free account, and only crosspost the public fluffy things. Maybe make secure posts at Dreamwidth, or maybe just not make any of those at all anymore.

And yet... I don't know what I would have done this past January, and really in the year or two prior, without being able to post about my mother and getting so much support from the community at Livejournal. And those posts kind of *need* to be locked, because I talk about family and such.

Or do they? Maybe the real answer, if I'm honest with myself, is to accept that "locking" and "filtering" really aren't locking and filtering, in the end. Maybe that's the real lesson here. Maybe at best, the "security" features on any journal site are effectively security through obscurity and nothing more.

Still thinking about it, but... the response to my last post made me remember how many people are LJ-only and how many of them (of you) I'd miss hearing from.

But if you didn't already know, and you read on Dreamwidth, I'm vixy over there. I started posting everything there and just crossposting here for purposes of having a backup in two places, back when LJ started going down a whole lot. I took away the crossposting footer on LJ when I felt like it sounded sort of condescending, but I'm going to put it back because some people found it confusing not to have it there. I'm also working on making DW feel a little more like home to me. That might encourage me to spend more time reading there.

Originally posted at http://vixy.dreamwidth.org/766213.html.

mood

disappointed

Well, so. Remember that problem I mentioned with Livejournal security?

LJ-maintenance responded, with a post that a) falsely states the time period of the security breach as being three minutes, b) falsely states that no one had editing/posting capabilities, c) falsely states that the problem has been solved, and d) considers this to have "had no effect on security."

Just for the record:
One of the first instances, 10/25, 9:22pm UTC

One of the latest, 10/26 8:19pm UTC - where the person said it had just happened to them while they were posting about this problem. (That's around 24 hours)

A user reports actually having (unintentionally) posted comments as a different user. Comment on lj-maintenance post. (People did have editing/posting capabilities)

As of my composing this post, STILL CURRENTLY HAPPENING. Comment on lj-maintenance post, 10/25 9:38pm UTC. (Problem is apparently not actually solved.)

Right.

Y'know, again, it's not even so much the bug, although I am seeing criticism that Livejournal should have run the release code on a test server before letting it affect live data.

It's the complete lack of give-a-shit they have about their customers. First in going so long without even acknowledging that a problem exists -- and by the principles of good customer service *and* by the terms of their own privacy policy, they should have done way more than just acknowledge it exists, they should have contacted their users to let them know of a potential breach.

And second in posting this non-apology that's made up of falsehoods and condescending dismissals. Do they really think that allowing users to see other users' personal info, private posts, etc. amounts to having "no effect" on security? I think that makes pretty clear their utter disregard for their customers.

So. After being a paid user for almost a decade, I'm definitely no longer giving Livejournal any more money; customer service this poor simply doesn't deserve my money or my loyalty. I will probably no longer crosspost from vixy on Dreamwidth to vixyish on Livejournal as I have been doing for the last few months; for now, DW will be my primary blog.

The only thing I haven't yet decided is whether to delete my LJ account completely, or just remove all my posts but keep the basic account open in order to read other people's entries. I admit I would hate to lose that aspect of the community.

I'm really trying not to be a drama queen about this. I mean, it *is* just a blog site, after all. But it's sad to see a community that was good die. I have a lot of friends on LJ, and I received a lot of wonderful support from friends on LJ through the hardships with my mother, and I really, really hate the idea of cutting that off.

But the new ownership is running the place right into the ground, and I think this was the last straw for me.

mood

disappointed

Guys? There's a thing, apparently.

With the latest update, people are finding that when they go to edit posts, send private messages, check their inbox, etc, they are finding themselves in the edit screen or inbox of another totally random person, and able to see and edit that other person's locked/filtered posts and messages. People they don't know and don't have friended.

Summary here: http://www.journalfen.net/community/unfunnybusiness/324593.html

People started reporting this happening to them on page 3 of the comments here: http://lj-releases.livejournal.com/70891.html

Some of those commenters on the latter post said it stopped happening, so I thought it might be fixed, but then a comment just appeared a few minutes ago as I write this on the former post, saying it just happened to them while they were posting about this issue.

It hasn't happened to me yet, but um... yeah.

A while back I backed up my posts, and I think maybe I'll go through LJ and delete everything I have as private or locked, since it's backed up anyway. Although the place it's backed up to has had their own share of issues. I couldn't make LJ Archive work, so I don't have a local backup yet. Guess it's time to try that again, if I want to have those diary entries.

Like Fishy has always said, in the end, it's a server you don't control...

Edit: I should add: part of it for me is not that there's a bug that did this, but that there's zero response from LJ, 24 hours after it's been reported. Seems like the least they could do is acknowledge it and say "we're looking into it?"

Also I don't know how code works, but can't one generally just roll back an update to the previous version of whatever? Then they'd have all the time they want to sort out what went wrong, while protecting their paid users' privacy.

Or does it not work like that?

mood

bouncy

Here is a bunch of random stuff that's up with me!

-----

Brooke got me back into playing Puzzle Pirates again. The Cobalt ocean (where I'm Vixy and Blackmich) is kind of dead these days, so I followed her to Midnight (where I'm Vixyish) where you can still load up an Atlantis run. We have a house. It's filled with animals.

They continue do do TOTALLY ADORABLE things with the game. I got a completely ridiculous hat-- sorry, "Crown of Chaos"-- in Atlantis, so ridiculous I had to get a portrait of it before it dusted. (It's like a snake chandelier for your head!) Also I got a skelly amulet, which turns you into a skelly when you use it. Naturally Brooke and I had to get portraits together as skellies in our silly hats. Ladies and gents, I give you... the Rigor Mortis Millinery Society. From now on, whenever I'm low, I will look at this portrait and cheer right up. (Or at this other pretty one, which I'd forgotten I'd had done, which is Vixy on Cobalt, with my prize-winning Year of the Tiger egg from last year, my parrot, Teacup, and my black dog, Zoso. (I won a black dog. What else would I name it? Besides, Brooke has a pig named Tortiere. And an alligator named Habanera.))

-----

Been playing around with Fitocracy (also due to Brooke-- good influence, bad influence, or a little of both?) and it's a decent enough motivator for exercise. At least, I'm getting a little more now than I was before. Because, POINTS! Are all geeks who are even remotely gamer-ish such suckers for anything that gives out points? I just wish the quests weren't so heavily weighted (har) toward barbell exercises. I've done about all the quests available to me without acquiring equipment I don't particularly want.

-----

Yesterday on my walk back from the post office, I saw a crow flying around low to the ground, fast and wildly erratic. Then I noticed it was actually flying around after some sort of insect. It landed and I got close enough to see that it had caught a moth or butterfly and was holding it down with one foot going OM NOM NOM GULP.

Mind: blown. I knew they would eat anything, including insects, but as far as I knew, they were scavengers. I've never seen a crow do anything resembling hunting before. Um... you have been warned, I guess. At least if you're a butterfly.

-----

Can't Stop the Serenity is today! I'm both incredibly excited and incredibly nervous. Some confidence-shaking things happened to me recently, so I'm a little jittery.

Things what are helping: Tony, as always. The fabulous Sunnie, who'll be on stage with us. John Seghers running AWESOME SOUND BOARD OF AWESOMENESS. And a completely fun COMPLETELY SILLY new costume idea that we came up with during rehearsal and have thrown together mostly at the last minute, with aid of EPIC thrift store shopping by Torrey and Lauren. Seriously, you guys, if we pull this off, you'll want to have been there, and you'll want to have brought your cameras. (And if we don't pull this off, it should still be good for a laugh!)

5pm, MOHAI, Seattle. Be there! :D

-----

In further Browncoat news: WAYWARD IS COMING BACK!!!

They've found a new space and they're getting work done and they're hoping to open in late October/early November. (No specific date yet, which I'm assuming is because of the volume of work still to do.) Tony and I are hoping we can play a shindig in the new place really soon! *bouncebounce*

Here's a note from Broenwynn and a news article with some more detail (both linked from Wayward's Twitter feed).

If you want to help, you can still donate to the Wayward Phoenix Fund, run by Seattle Browncoats Charities.

Browncoats: They're Shiny! :D

-----

ETA: I forgot: I've also updated my 2011 perpetual book post a few times since I last mentioned it in a new post. I'm reading slowly but I'm reading!

Gotta go get ready now. Bye!

mood

accomplished

This was going to be part of a post of miscellany, but then this section got long enough to be its own post. :)

I'm slowly starting to feel creative again. I... there aren't really words for how big a deal this is to me.

I've felt frozen since Mom died. Since well before she died. (Why does it still feel like she only just died?) Since she started dying by inches, since she started forgetting me... I've felt for longer than I care to admit as though everything creative in me was dead. Frankly I still feel that way when it comes to songwriting. I try to find that path again, I go to that place and there's just nothing there, and sometimes I can hardly bear to share a stage with or even listen to my fellow musicians, because it's hard to watch them with their new songs and new albums and doing the things that I can't do anymore.

So anyway... I've had tiny little flames of creative urge now and then, and I'm trying to feed them. I finished off a colored pencil piece that I'd begun ...over a year ago I think, just a random thing with (and titled) Books and Keys. All it really needed to be finished was the background colored pencil and then the ink over it. (Inking over colored pencil is kind of neat-- it takes a long time to dry, because colored pencil is basically wax, so while it's still wet you can effectively *erase* it. But then it actually does dry enough to stay put.)

I also had an urge to do collage again. But I kept sitting there not having any idea what I wanted to do, so I read a book that caught my eye, called Scraps: an Inspirational Field Guide to Collage, and it helped in a lot of ways. Not least by just giving the reader permission to *not* feel creative sometimes, or to not know what you want to do. I kind of didn't really realize I needed that permission, I needed an outside source to tell me, no really, that's okay. More practically, the book had a lot helpful to say on materials and the variety therein, and on which materials play well with which glues, and such.

One thing I realized is that I need to gather a lot more materials if I want to do the sort of assemble-things collage rather than the sort of make-pictures-from-scratch collage that I've been doing. And I do want to try out more of that; I've never done it, and it feels freeing in some ways to be focusing more on getting a feeling across from the whole rather than a specific image. But I did realize I'd collected a whole lot of Alice imagery (surprise) and just sat there thinking about that a while. And although Looking Glass is the book I like better, I've always been fascinated by the mind-altering-substances aspect of Wonderland. So I started collecting together what I had and finding things on the internet when I wanted something I didn't have.

And here's the finished product: Alice Can't Talk Right Now.

Items: craft paper background, awesome paper and wood laser-cut cutouts from Porkchop Show, a neat pack of cards given to me by Admiral Naismith, wrapping paper from Torrey, some pages from an old dictionary, some key charms I'd bought for the many pieces of Alice jewelry I still haven't gotten around to making for myself, and some google image search results, including a photo that I photoshopped into looking like a drawing because I couldn't find a drawing of what I wanted. (Oh Photoshop filters, I adore you so.) I'd thought about adding the title text in cutout letters over the top of it, but now I think not.

It was a lot of fun, and now I stare at the pretty, and think, what I do wif it? Don't know if I want to frame it and hang it somewhere or give it away or what.

Also I'm doing this thing I do a lot when I finish something creative, which is that I kind of want to start something else, but I sit there staring at the last finished piece wondering how I can ever possibly do something else that's that good.

Anyway, it's a start. I'm hoping that if I don't push it too hard, it'll come.